Doctors Without Quarters

Last week, I wrote that I am taking naturopathic supplements. I want to update you on the results.

I have grown two large breasts.

Kidding. If that were true, I wouldn’t have any spare time to write this blog.

As part of the treatment, my naturopath told me to take my morning temperature three days in a row. They were 95.5, 95.2, and 94.3. I know that normal is 98.6, give or take. My low temps seemed like a pretty big “take”.

My naturopath put it in a reassuring perspective.

“You have reptile blood.”

He was joking, but concerned.  He told me to get my thyroid checked.

I drove to the nearest medical lab for the blood work. The test was not covered by the provincial health plan. The cost was $53 and change, according to the slightly brusque receptionist. She said they take check or cash.

“You don’t take debit or visa?”

“No, we don’t have the machines,,” she said.

“Great,” I thought to myself. “They probably take the blood with leeches.”

“There is an ATM across the street,” she said. Luckily, I had three twenties.

” I’ll just see if we have change. Sometimes we don’t.” She disappeared into a back room, and then returned with six bucks. All in coins.

After a brief wait, she led me to a cubicle for the blood sampling. “So if you didn’t have any change,” I asked. “Does that mean I wouldn’t get any?”

“Oh, no, ” she said, a bit defensively. “I’d just have to go elsewhere in the building to find some.”

At that point, I laughed out loud. I once bought medicine in rural Uganda. The roads were unpaved and the people lived in shacks, but the pharmacist had change.

I rolled up my sleeve and waited for the nurse. That’s when the same woman returned, holding a needle. So, she’s a receptionist-slash-nurse. And I’m the smart-ass who mocked her workplace. And that’s the sharp object she is gong to insert into my arm. I imagined her repeatedly searching for a vein  — in vain.

In fact, the blood test went fine. The results are pending, but I learned a lesson. Just as you don’t criticize a waiter until after your food has arrived, you don’t heckle a med-lab worker until after they take the needle away.

Yours truly, The Lizard.


2 thoughts on “Doctors Without Quarters

  1. What? No photo? I always look forward to the photo too… but yes, “I read it for the articles”. Merry Christmas and keep writing. Look forward to your next installment. I may not comment on each (as I am not the witty writer you are) but do look forward to reading them and having a laugh.

  2. I was disqualified to give blood several times due to a low temp. Researching that on the web, I came across the low thyroid thingy. So I decided to take iodine for it, and it hasn’t killed me yet. The optimox site is really great for info. This introductory article is pretty good: Iodine Deficiency: .

    Regarding fighting cancer, I would also recommend that you check out the ketogenic diet, which I am adopting myself, if you haven’t already: The following link is a good introduction: .
    Cancer as a Metabolic Disease is actually an old paradigm developed by Otto Warburg. According to Wikipedia: “Warburg is considered one of the 20th century’s leading biochemists.[2] He was the sole recipient of the Nobel Prize in Physiology in 1931.[1] In total, he was nominated for the award 47 times over the course of his career.[3] Warburg investigated the metabolism of tumors and the respiration of cells, particularly cancer cells, and in 1931 was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology for his ‘discovery of the nature and mode of action of the respiratory enzyme.'[1]”.
    The ketogenic diet is designed to deny (most all) cancer cells the fuel they desperately require: glucose. Most all cancers cannot thrive in a low glucose environment as they cannot use ketones for fuel, which non-cancer cells can. So eating a ketogenic diet can make your body unfriendly to cancer, in a nutshell. Here are some other links on the “nuts and bolts” of Cancer as a Metabolic Disease: , and: Cancer as a metabolic disease: implications for novel therapeutics: . See also: Thomas N. Seyfried professor of biology: .
    I really liked that “Sending you a bucket of hope” so here is one from me.
    Sincerely, Russ

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