Mike was a romantic guy.
My husband’s gestures of love were big and small. He slipped them in seamlessly throughout our days. He did it with a word, a look, a touch.
I was loved. He made that clear.
On Valentine’s Day two years ago, he bought me a book of vintage Valentines. He wrote on all 36 cards. It was the story of our love. His messages were poignant, sweet, romantic, and even a bit goofy. The notes are snapshots of our life together. (For anyone currently in love, I recommend this idea. Please steal it. Make someone happy.)
The following year, I copied his vintage Valentines move.
This Valentine’s Day, I obviously wasn’t expecting a gesture of love from my dead husband.
But I was wrong.
Three months before his death he sat on the floor in our closet. He culled paper work from our filing cabinet, tossing out old files, taxes and letters.
A few days ago, I was going though the cabinet looking for nothing in particular. I randomly grabbed a folder. Inside was a document titled ‘The Thing.’
Mike was an avid list maker. He wrote lists for everything; long and short term goals; places he wanted to see; his favourite meals, movies and books; and so on. And on. And on.
‘The Thing’ was his step-by-step plan detailing how he would propose to me. He came up with two options: a New Year’s Eve proposal over dinner; or popping the question at Winnipeg’s English Garden, our favourite spot.
He went with option B. He asked me in the garden on his 44th birthday. He produced his great-grandmother’s engagement ring. Later, he had chilled champagne waiting for us inside our room at the Fort Garry Hotel.
Back in the closet, I scanned the note. Joy washed over me. Sadness came next. And then a rush of love for my dear love.
He left the note for me to find after he died.
And I found it one week before Valentine’s Day.
When I need Mike the most, when I need to feel his love around me, he sends me a sign. ‘The Thing’ is his sign.
The universe is on my side.
And Mike is still on my side.
I know it. I feel it. And with this note, I see it.